Weeding Our Garden

Weeding our garden
Since my son entered his remission stage my main concern was to uproot our garden from all weeds that were currently there, making sure his remission was not a stage but a constant. I suggest you do the same where only the determined is allowed to stay.
What do I mean? Keep friendly dedication, brotherly love, family and fatherly compassion around you and your child. All the rest, is a surplus that could harm the main "plant" you are caring for. Unfortunately, if these components  are weak or harmful, don't hesitate to eradicate them as well. You need to keep walkways clear from any and every deception. This is the main recipe for your child's progress and your peace of mind.
If after you weed your garden, you stand alone with your child with maybe one or two other constants, don't feel isolated because the core of your caring team can  exclusively insure and promote progress, nurturing and emotional support for both, you and your child.

Overcoming Anosognosia

Anosognosia?

I was not about to leave it to time. I knew that if my son was aware of his illness, he would join the fight; he would be an active participant with his team. How did we achieve this? There is no specific recipe on what to do or not to do. However, I assure you that I have done my research, and I have put some of my own ingredients to help my son overcome anosognosia.

 I will summarize it as Partnering:  

-Partnering with your child doesn't mean showing them a desire to put them in a special need home. They do understand, and I will say this bluntly: that you want to disentangle yourself from a heavy burden. - Allow them to come back to your home time and time again let them feel that your home is a safe haven that will accept them unconditionally. - Go back and forth between empathy and understanding while allowing yourself to point  and grunt at things that don't make sense after all. -

Don't forget to point at their interactions with voices with subtle hand signal every time you see it. You don't have to say a word, nor look at them with disdain. When your son or daughter sees your hand signal repeatedly they do understand and realize with time,  that you are signaling awareness of their interactions.

I know, as a matter of fact, that this is how my son's insight began. I decided to adopt this method referring to the braille and sign languages. I was surprised that after a few dozen times, my son started to my amazement, acknowledging his interaction and accepting my visual signal as a partnership. It wasn't long after  that he asked to go into the hospital and finally, yes, finally accepted his therapist and doctor as vital members of his recovery
team!

Rowing the same boat!

Rowing the same boat!

For years now, my only contact with parents and patients who are going through the same dilemma has been over the phone or on the Internet.

Yesterday, and for the first time, my husband and I took our courage in our hands and proceeded physically to our initial family to family meeting. When we entered the room, I saw the identical look on most parents' faces, drained, sad and exhausted, all of us were rowing the same boat, all of us were looking and searching for answers.

I felt compelled to reach out and help them as I had the equivalent perception coming toward me. I was immediately embraced and befriended without making any efforts. We talked for hours about our loved ones, comparing strategies and therapies, Oh it was so good and real... 

We decided that in case of actual crisis we will help by taking turns

 being there physically and pitching in, no questions asked. 

We didn't feel we were encumbering anyone with our accounts. As a result, we felt a deep connection and invited few couples over to our home. We came into this meeting as strangers, nervous and apprehensive, and we left with a lighter heart and Many new friends who come from every walk of life. I am blessed and empowered. We now have allies, and we are rowing one same boat.

What do you do when the curtains of anosognosia open up to show reality?
As parents, family, friends and physicians , we work very hard for years through teaming up  to bring our loved one to admit, face and embrace their illness.
I often thought to myself that if my son could  realize that he is ill, it would make his therapy easier, his adherence to medication a breeze and his future much brighter.
Beating anosognosia became my obsession, (hard word to spell and to pronounce just like its meaning). The patient can't realize that he is ill because his reality it completely and totally real. The voices have taken enough shape and character to eclipse their surroundings.  Getting my son to take his medications and adhere to therapy was probably the most difficult and daunting task at hand. However, how can you challenge the response? I am not sick. I don't need meds? Such a popular response that Doctor Xavier Amador has written a book about it. First, I used to challenge his disorganized speeches, his absurd clothing, his open reactions to auditory hallucinations... I became angry. Come on.... you are too smart for that... can't you see how you look? Can you even hear what you are  saying? Why are you laughing? What is so funny? I thought  pointing at all that will definitely be a winner but to my dismay, it didn't.
After I used the LEAP ( Listen, emphasize, agree and partner), and because my son was ready, I used it ad nauseam: don't you want to reach this? It could be so much easier with (name of medication)!
I became a trusted partner and (oh if only the pharmaceutical company  heard me)! A loyal advocate for the benefits  this tiny little pill represented (I made it look so insignificant in size but with huge positive significances to reach a goal). I never gave up, kept pounding these ideas repeatedly, beating the odds and the voices which (I guess) couldn't handle dismissing mine anymore!
My son sat with me on the couch the next morning, and said, Mom; I don't feel well.  I am ill, and I need help.

I looked at him... I could feel my heart pounding...

I was completely blown away.
The next phase was very important. Crucial. Depression was looming. I knew at this point that my son was asking me to get him the help he needed.

As I was ready to formulate another LEAP phrase to get him to partner toward our next goal,  he simply said: Mom, I think it is time. I need to go to the hospital.
Although my heart was breaking...I did hear the soothing bells of "Oh glory" ringing in my head!