The return

 

Schizophrenia is a voyage. It is up to the caregiver to help  land that plane in a world of complex reality or be a mere bystander while that plane is fatally crash landing somewhere.
Behind every success story during this illness, there are diligent caregivers, staunch believers in the anguished, were realistically there can't be any belief, and diligence is the key to success.
Yes,  I am patting myself in the back, as well as hugging all my helpers, because today, my son has opened his law books again to study for the bar exam, he spends his weekends with his friends from childhood and college receiving calls and being invited, as if they were welcoming him back from a long journey. Passing the bar exam is not an iffy situation anymore it is a victorious quest supported and hailed by all of us.
Getting to this point wasn't easy. However, with his cooperation and complete candor about his illness, his compliance on trying -oh so many- medications until we finally found the one that had the slightest side's effects, was to say the least, an amazing and courageous diligence.
I have seen him go through a barrage of medications and side effects, from being completely sedated to a simple gastric enteritis.
The most important factor for any and every caregiver, is to love  unconditionally the person they are caring for. It can be difficult at times and extremely trying. Sometimes I had to retract myself physically from a situation and come back later with  renewed energy.
Most importantly, try to separate the person suffering from the illness. They aren't schizophrenics, but they suffer from schizophrenia.
For me, his mother it is worth every effort, every pain and suffering. I never lost hope. I didn't want to lose sight of the light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes I feel compelled as if driven with nothing other than my son as my objective.
What I wanted, was that if I had to one day depart this life, (please let me assume in a hundred years)!!! I wanted to leave my son in good hands, his own, totally capable of managing any  and every symptom.
 Today, while I am enjoying my son, his laughter, and his wise jokes, while we decide on a dinner menu together, or which movie, he will see with his friends, I understand that this illness is physical with psychological ramifications, I also understand that nobody -including my son's psychotic events-, and nothing could have deviated me from my mission to successfully bring him back, to help land his plane safely and surely after a stormy flight.