The learning curve and the gene factor

 

 

 

The learning Curve and the Genes Factor
During the early stages of my son's illness , I often wondered if his affliction was emotional, and if he could  control it. When my son took his medication, there was no indication after a few weeks of any traces of his illness. One could easily carry a conversation with him, ask his opinion, and he would give you a clear, intelligent answer. When he was in total denial of his illness and stopped taking his medication it was because he truly believed  he was cured unfortunately,  it was a matter of time until all  symptoms resurfaced again.
Now that he takes his medication willingly, I always watch for the plateau, when his medication dosage needs to be adjusted or changed. And I have become an expert on the  precursors' signs, the little indications that if not addressed immediately could become an obstruction to his therapy.
Since I am well read on the subject, I know that it is an inherited hibernating gene that is awakened by many factors. " A dormant gene"? This was extremely intriguing to me. My son's illness was gradual. And first I thought that his paranoid megalomania wasn't so bad until it became full-blown. These are big names for a big affliction. I couldn't find any comparison to his illness in my  family until a recent event did wake me up from hibernation and opened my eyes on a fact that my family and myself kept hidden, undisclosed and neatly tucked away where nobody could see it.  

Heartfelt blessings to my parents,

a senior generation which strongly believed that revealing a case of mental illness

 in my direct family would destroy our social standing within our society. 

I could see the resemblance between my son's illness and my sister's claim to fame when she felt entitled to all my parent's estate.   

Blinded with anger at first, it wasn't  until recently, given that I am caring for my son,  and slowly unraveling the truth of it all that I have come to pity her for living with an unassisted mental illness, and driving away chords of us who couldn't understand and still can't why my father a physician  didn't hospitalize her before she totally and truly became dreadfully malevolent living with them at an older age and shattering their lifestyles.

 Was it because my parents were trying to hide the truth from us and their society, were they so mortified that they couldn't bring themselves to seek proper assistance to her illness? Obviously, it was a question of culture society, and time.... As we all know, time doesn't cure all in this instance. We surely  know  that if not cared for properly, this infliction progresses beyond the point where the  mind could become completely distorted, and only forcing therapy would  help salvage it.
As far as I can remember, we always walked on egg shells around my sister, dreading her wrath if we didn't agree with her opinion or unjustified feelings for such and such... we avoided facing a reality that was too cruel to unravel, this didn't make our lives any easier. We all suffered and still do from  seeing her face distorted almost inhumanely grimacing with anger, when we didn't concede or say the right thing around her. 

We knew that we all  were  in as much denial as she was, as my parents were. It could have and would have been a much better life for all of us if we simply tackled the fact that she  needed hospitalization and intense therapy to prevent and avert such suffering among all of us.

Weeding Our Garden

Weeding our garden
Since my son entered his remission stage my main concern was to uproot our garden from all weeds that were currently there, making sure his remission was not a stage but a constant. I suggest you do the same where only the determined is allowed to stay.
What do I mean? Keep friendly dedication, brotherly love, family and fatherly compassion around you and your child. All the rest, is a surplus that could harm the main "plant" you are caring for. Unfortunately, if these components  are weak or harmful, don't hesitate to eradicate them as well. You need to keep walkways clear from any and every deception. This is the main recipe for your child's progress and your peace of mind.
If after you weed your garden, you stand alone with your child with maybe one or two other constants, don't feel isolated because the core of your caring team can  exclusively insure and promote progress, nurturing and emotional support for both, you and your child.

Overcoming Anosognosia

Anosognosia?

I was not about to leave it to time. I knew that if my son was aware of his illness, he would join the fight; he would be an active participant with his team. How did we achieve this? There is no specific recipe on what to do or not to do. However, I assure you that I have done my research, and I have put some of my own ingredients to help my son overcome anosognosia.

 I will summarize it as Partnering:  

-Partnering with your child doesn't mean showing them a desire to put them in a special need home. They do understand, and I will say this bluntly: that you want to disentangle yourself from a heavy burden. - Allow them to come back to your home time and time again let them feel that your home is a safe haven that will accept them unconditionally. - Go back and forth between empathy and understanding while allowing yourself to point  and grunt at things that don't make sense after all. -

Don't forget to point at their interactions with voices with subtle hand signal every time you see it. You don't have to say a word, nor look at them with disdain. When your son or daughter sees your hand signal repeatedly they do understand and realize with time,  that you are signaling awareness of their interactions.

I know, as a matter of fact, that this is how my son's insight began. I decided to adopt this method referring to the braille and sign languages. I was surprised that after a few dozen times, my son started to my amazement, acknowledging his interaction and accepting my visual signal as a partnership. It wasn't long after  that he asked to go into the hospital and finally, yes, finally accepted his therapist and doctor as vital members of his recovery
team!